I Don’t Need Self Care

Yeah, that’s what I had been telling myself for years, along with “I can handle it” and “Therapy isn’t for someone like me.” It wasn’t until I had a breaking point a couple of years ago that I finally began to realize how important it is to be mindful of our minds and bodies.

Anxiety crept in after the military, not having any certainty anymore of where my life was going. Going from job to job didn’t help the situation either. I was lost, looking for something to satisfy my financial needs. Being the ultra ambitious person that I am, settling for the big J.O.B did not seem to quench the thirst I had to make something great of myself. Tons of research and multiple heartaches later, I joined an insurance gig that was not great. I was blinded by the fact that it was an easy way to start my own thing and make money fast. What I didn’t know was that I had to pay for my own leads, my own website, my own business cards, conferences, phone bills, email, and so on. AND chargebacks for policies that weren’t kept for a whole year happened A LOT. After a year of putting my all into it, my body couldn’t handle the stress anymore. I had bills to pay after all, and my husband had been advising me to leave that company for a while. It was time to take matters into my own hands.

We ended up moving to a different city that had more access to local jobs. I decided that entering the collision and automotive industry would be fun. Talking to customers was a blast, until a destructive hurricane ruined my little world completely. The facility was obliterated by the merciless rivers. Things were never the same after that. I ended up leaving the company due to unhappiness and unfulfillment with my life. Then I felt God put something strong onto my heart—becoming a full-time author. I had been writing blogs and manuscripts for quite some time, but I never thought that I could make an actual career out of it because of all the horror stories and self-doubt.

The love of my life pushed me through it, along with tons of ideas from God to make this thing work. Now it’s still not sunshine and rainbows by any means. Loneliness still creeps up in my life. Thoughts of not being good enough are indeed still there. But now I have a deeper understanding of what to do when those feelings and thoughts come my way. They must be accepted, and gratefulness must come into play. Not everything is bad all the time, nor is everything good all the time. A balance between the two of them is crucial. I’m learning a ton from my therapist each week. Recently, we learned that I tend to dwell on either side of the spectrum but never in the middle.

Now that I have a small business selling my mini original art and signed copies of my books, I feel a deep sense of accomplishment and a deeper meaning towards what God wants me to do. I’ve been giving away freebies with all orders. I’d like to show God’s love in all the ways that I possibly can. At the same time, I have to take care of my own well-being. If I am not okay, then my business won’t be okay. It would also affect my family, they wouldn’t be okay if I were not okay from failing to listen to my body.

Thank you so much for reading. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject. How do you feel about self-care? What are you currently doing to keep up with it? Also, do you have any tips for me? Leave a comment below.

Victoria Loria